I have not had much to blog about lately since I have been doing absolutely nothing for the past month. That may sound wonderful to those working adults who have working adult responsibilities, but for a recent college grad wanting to get her life started it was kind of torture. See, the thing is that I have a summer job that I had already signed a contract for that did not start until last Monday. So while many of my classmates have been hitting the pavement hunting for jobs, I’ve been in this weird in between place where I wouldn’t be able to start a real grownup job until September (and most job openings seem to be for immediate hire). So I’ve put some feelers out with some contacts that I have in Philadelphia (where I’d like to live come the fall) but other than that my life has been at a bit of a standstill as I’ve waited for my summer job to start.
So now I am here, working as a housekeeper/ waitress at an inn in New York state. This will be my third summer working here and I’ve absolutely loved the job in past years. I come here because it’s beautiful, pays really well, my bosses are really nice, and I’ve made some of my best friends here. But it’s difficult now that many of my friends who have worked here with me in the past have not returned this summer and I am the oldest on what they call the “junior staff”. I am so grateful for the great job, don’t get me wrong, but I almost feel like I’ve outgrown it in some ways. And while I would not be stupid enough to say anything bad about my place of employment on the internet, I will say that I have a problem with how they use/rely on extremely gendered dichotomies here. For example, for me (a girl) it is assumed that I cannot lift heavy things on a regular basis or powerwash a sidewalk or things like that. For the boys it is assumed that they are incapable of scrubbing a toilet or making a bed or things like that. And the jobs are divided as such. Or here is an even more specific example: My bosses like to sugarcoat some parts of the job to show enthusiasm and keep up morale. Like they give a special cheesy title to a specific job description that is a bit different from other members of the staff in that on the day we turn over the rooms and clean the house for new guests, this person has special tasks assigned to them that nobody else does. Last year they like to call this person the “Hero” when it was one of the boys on staff. This year they have decided to assign a girl to the position and have renamed it the “Princess”. As if a girl cannot be a hero. And as if every girl would want to be a princess. Vomit. Such things are hell for someone with a degree in women’s studies (case in point: me). In the past I’ve taken it for what it is and just been grateful for the job (which I still am). However, this year it is starting to grate on me.
Also, this is a religious place where I’m working and, though I’m used to a ton of church and religion, growing up as the daughter of two ministers, I have not had religion shoved down my throat in the way that it is here. I am not going to clean a room imagining that Jesus is going to be the guest staying in this room. To me that is a cheesy and weird way for my boss to get us to make the rooms as clean as possible. Rather, I’m going to do a good job because you hired me for this job and I am one who takes pride in her work. Simple as that.
But other than those qualms, I’m happy to be back in this beautiful place as well as to have something to keep me occupied and with some cash money in my pocket. So life is pretty good right now. And I’m working on keeping an eye on job postings while I’m here. I’m looking for something in the non-profit sector. My ideal job right now would be to work for an organization that does programming to foster the empowerment of girls. But I am extremely open minded and would be grateful for almost anything that comes along that is not in food service or retail (not that I feel I’m above those jobs, just that I’m hoping for something different that can put me closer to a track I’d like to be on career-wise).
On an unrelated note…-this place where I’m working, it’s like an entire artsy vacation community and the inn I work at is only one tiny place in the larger community. However, I don’t know anyone outside my little inn staff. One of my former professors/mentors/confidants has instructed me to have a summer fling while I’m here. He is someone who I have talked a lot to about my personal life and lack thereof in the romantic sense and I believe his specific instructions were “You need to go out there and meet someone this summer. Have a fling! You deserve something like that, you’re such a lovely girl.” And, the thing is, that I would love to be able to follow through on these instructions, but I have no idea how to meet people. I’m not someone who just walks up to strangers and introduces myself (as with those kinds of outgoing people I find there to be a fine line between friendly and desperate/creepy when interpretation is concerned). I’m definitely not that stereotype of the self-conscious, pity-worthy, sad lonely fat girl who thinks no man will love her. I am an extremely competent, somewhat confident, adequately social young woman—and I’m certain that I’m quite a catch! I just don’t know how to meet eligible, date-worthy men (the boys that I work with are definitely not in the realm of possibility on account of their immaturity and slight douchebaggery). I’m sure if I did find such a man, the problem I would be blogging about would be a lack of confidence in my desirability in the eyes of said man, but I am taking things one step at a time.
This post is already too long, but I also wanted to put out there that I have had much frustration in shopping lately (not one of my passions or talents). I am looking for jeans that fit and are decent quality. My problem is that I am plus size AND tall. I like flares or wide-leg trouser-ish styles because tapered legs look absolutely laughable on me. Does anyone have any suggestions? I was so happy last year to find the Right Fit jeans sold at Lane Bryant because the red-tagged ones were a great fit for me and they came in tall sizes too (the ones at Fashion Bug haven’t been quite as good for me). But alas they are not really selling them anymore it seems. Any guidance would be extremely appreciated.